The Artful Parent

A little art

Here's what Maia's drawing these days -- lots of little circles. And elongated enclosed shapes. Almost everything is enclosed. And she's into finding old frames (with or without photos) and asking to draw a picture to fit in it.

What are your kids into drawing these days?

Linville Falls and closing the etsy shop

I've been slow about downloading photos lately. These photos are from earlier this month. We went up to Linville Falls on the Parkway for a little hike. As you can see, I'm wearing my clogs -- it wasn't exactly a strenuous hike! But beautiful, yes.

With lots of waterfall views.

By the way, I have decided to close my etsy shop. I need to reprioritize right now and the shop just doesn't feel like something I can do right now. I'm going to put everything on half off to try to clear it out, then will close it sometime in the next week or two.

dipping my toe back in

When I said I was going to take a little break, I really thought it would be more like two days rather than two weeks. But I needed the two weeks. Thanks for your patience.

I'm feeling a bit better now about life and all the big messes it brings, including my own insecurities and identity crises. I've been reading When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. Yes, another book. I know. I won't ever forswear reading and books, though. And it's a wonderful book. So much wisdom on dealing with changes and fears. Someone close to me has been ill and I've had a hard time dealing with it.

It might take me a little while to get back into the swing of blogging regularly. And besides which, there hasn't been much art going on here lately to post about. We'll have to remedy that (after I clean out the studio)...

wild geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting â€"
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

Thanks for the poem. It's beautiful. I need to pick up a volume of Mary Oliver's poetry and sit down with a cup of hot tea.

Nothing like laying it all out there on your blog to make you feel exposed. That's how I'm feeling right now. Vulnerable. And kicking myself for the post. But at the same time, so very thankful for all of your wonderful comments and encouragement and ideas.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I might take a little blogging break. Not sure if it'll be two days or two weeks. When my house gets too messy, I don't usually invite people over until I clean up a bit. And I'm feeling that way about my life right now. It's a little too messy to invite you all in right now. I need to regain my composure and a little balance. I hope you understand.

XOXO, Jean

some books, a rant, and a list of things I love

So here's what you get with me: some peanut butter powerballs, pretty felt boards, and then, wham! a rant'n rave. I apologize in advance. Feel free to pass over this post. I probably should write this in my journal and not my blog, but whatever. It's my blog, I suppose. So welcome to my pity party. Maybe tomorrow I'll write about something happy and artful.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just pretending in this world. I'm faking it at parenting (what do I know?!) and faking it at life (again, what do I know?! a whole lot of nothing). I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to be doing. I spend time at friends' homes and marvel at their kitchens. They're adults! With real food processors and knives that they know how to sharpen! Silly, right? But I feel like a kid on the outside looking in. I feel like everyone else is more intelligent and more with it. They have purpose. They know how things work. And me? I read books and cut out felt pieces and know what kind of job I don't want.

I've been reading books. Lots of them. And I love books. I can get lost in them. But even with all the lovely life-changing book recommendations you all gave me, I'm just thinking, can people really change? I'm thirty one. Maybe I just missed the life-changing boat by a few years. Sometimes I think I'm a big optimist, but I'm not feeling like one right now. I'm feeling like a perpetual malcontent. And where's that going to get me?

What do I need? More books? Therapy? Faith? Poetry? Financial security? A job? Chocolate? A train trip? A glass of wine? A slap on the side of the face? All of the above? Maybe none of the above? Maybe just a different mindset?

Okay, so here are the books I've been reading in the past couple of months: Finding Your Own North Star, Soul Coaching, Gift from the Sea, The Temple of My Familiar, The Power of Now, Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Earthways, and The Best of American Travel Writing. And I have another stack waiting to be read.

My problem with self-help type books is that I'm not consistent about doing the exercises. I do some, but then either read through most of the book without doing them (thinking I'll go back and do them later) or stop reading at an exercise I need to do and then just never pick up the book again. Guilt trip! So anyway, I haven't finished reading all the above books. And I haven't gotten everything out of them that I could.

I loved Gift from the Sea and The Temple of My Familiar (which I'm still reading - it's long!), but my favorite of the lot so far is The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. It's about a couple of misfits -- an autodidact concierge and a super intelligent 12 year old. So fun and so good! I was sad to finish it.

Anyway, the book (probably one of the protagonists) listed three things worth living for: LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, and the BEAUTY OF ART. It's a good list but too distilled for me. So I wrote my own list headed up by the above, but also including some things that make me happy. Here it is:

Coffee and scones (my favorite is their coconut and dried cherry scone) at the West End Bakery with my family

Snuggling with Maia as she wakes up from her nap

Books! Browsing in bookstores and libraries with plenty of time and no agenda

And more books -- reading book lists and reviews on Amazon

Fresh baked bread, toasted, with butter and honey

Flowers -- in a vase or in a garden. I love flowers! Freesias are my favorite.

Poring over seed catalogs and planning a vegetable garden when it's still cold outside. The garden is still perfect then and full of potential and not nearly as much work.

A ridge hike on a clear day -- feeling on top of the world, like I can fly!

Really good chocolate truffles. Or a chocolate caramel combo. Or just chocolate. I know a lot of people are into dark chocolate and it's supposed to be a lot healthier for you but I'm a milk chocolate kind of person. I like creamy, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate.

A bento box lunch of teriyaki salmon and tempura from a good Japanese place, and especially the perfect miso soup that precedes it

Daydreaming about hopping a train with a suitcase full of books, chocolate, notebooks, and rollerball pens

A bottle of wine and conversation shared with a good friend

Everything I haven't learned but would like to

Cherry pie

My favorite authors: Banana Yoshimoto and Barbara Kingsolver

New art supplies! oil pastels, paints, papers, crayons, colored pencils...

A stack of empty notebooks waiting to be filled with ramblings, ideas, lists

The pine-y smell of a fresh cut Christmas tree when it's newly strung with lights

Other winter joys: candlelight, hot tea, bowls of tangerines, Â hot showers, paperwhites

Colors. And the gift of sight. Of all the senses it's the most precious to me.

Rereading favorite books from childhood: The Secret Garden, Jane Eyre, A Story Like the Wind

And probably lots more... At least this post didn't turn out to be all negative.

So what's on your list?